37 Lessons from 37 Years of Being Cory Stout
Every year, I collect and catalog things I’ve learned during my latest trip around the sun.
These are things that work for me, and maybe you’ll find them useful too
1. Book a once-in-a-lifetime Airbnb 2–3 years in advance
It’s a lot of fun to go on a trip, but it’s also a lot of fun to LOOK FORWARD to a trip. I reserved this property 10 months ago, I think about it once a week and it puts a micro-smile on my face. Even if something comes up and I can’t actually go, I get to keep all the free micro-smiles over the past year
2. Get fresh playlists
In 2021, Spotify informed me that I was among the top .0005% of Khruangbin listeners. That meant I was caught in a filter bubble. The music algorithm was so tightly wrapped around my tastes that I had difficulty discovering new music.
So here’s the new flex. Start a new playlist every three months, insert a few new/obscure songs that you like, and then let Spotify recommend songs to add. Give those songs a listen and add the ones you like. I also use the Discover Weekly playlist to find new vibrations. I think three months is perfect because it allows you to become familiar with new artists, and then allows you to let go when you start a new season of sound.
Bonus tip* when you find yourself in a particularly ‘cool’ restaurant or hotel bar. Open shazaam, hold the button, and it will capture the entire playlist in the background
I label them by year and months:
3. Get Outside and Build Stuff
I was able to organize my dad, my uncle, one of my cousins, and myself to build a deck in Joshua Tree. It was hard work and I’ll never forget it.
I realized how comfortable my life is this year, and it didn’t make me feel good. Now, any chance I can get outside and get tools in my hand, I’ll take it. The four of us fought and argued like brothers, but those few special moments where we were all working together, measuring, swinging hammers, and drilling screws were magic music.
4. Don’t Shave Yaks
This one came from Seth Godin’s blog. Just read it
5. Always accept water when offered
Water is my superpower. I think I drink more water than 97% of people. And a good life is about making easy decisions. When someone offers me water, I immediately accept. Even if I’m not thirsty, drinking more water just cannot be bad for me.
6. Disregard expectations, don’t even set them
The enjoyment of life is HEAVILY influenced by the expectations we set. Set them too high, and you’ll be constantly disappointed. Set them too low, and ….nothing, there’s no penalty, you’re just appreciating every good thing that happens to you
7. Completely eliminate usage of the word SHOULD
It literally means you’re attached to a version of reality that is not the same as actual reality. This attachment creates suffering. This word is a hallmark of chronically unhappy people.
8. Blood sugar rules your life
It’s impossible to overstate how important blood glucose moderation is to personal wellbeing. The sweet spot is 70–120. If you’re outside of that sweet spot, or if you’re in it but dropping quickly, you’re just not going to feel OK. Get a grip on your glucose! My friend Josh owns Levels Health, they’ll set you up on a group challenge. I’ve tracked everything from steps, sleep, macros, pushups, and much more. The best/biggest lessons I’ve learned from Quantified Self have been from glucose tracking. 10 years from now, we’ll all track our glucose all day long.
9. Float tank will quiet your mind
I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel overwhelmed. Find a float tank in your city, try it
I go for Float Lab in Venice
10. Schema for Minimalism
From reddit: When I started only accepting “I use” and “I like” as reasons to keep things, I noticed the things that were hardest to let go of were “I should” and “I wish” (goes back to #7)
11. Don’t DO the Work, Build Systems
Aygemang put me on this one in the form of a great question
Are you hauling buckets, or building pipelines?
12. Try out ideas that used to scare you
I always heard Nihilism was a rotten philosophy, worthy of scorn or pity. Then I picked up a book, The Sunny Nihilist, and it opened my eyes to nihilism all around us. It’s not an evil philosophy, just another one on the menu.
My favorite cartoonist, Jon Michael Frank, is definitely a nihilist and he’s hilarious!
13. Be careful what you do to pay the bills. You might just succeed at it.
This quote really spoke to me because I’ve had such a long run with Woodies. I didn’t set out to create a job for myself running an e-commerce company.
Be careful about what you work on. Don’t fall into the trap of working just for good money so that SOMEDAY you can work on what you really love. If you’re successful at that thing, it will become very hard to every break away from it.
14. Transcribe your book notes with Otter.ai
I like to highlight actual paper books. Then I transcribe them using Otter.ai It saves dozens of hours per year
15. Ask Intersting Questions, Enjoy Interesting Conversations
You already know how I feel about questions (Cory’s Book of Questions coming this fall!). But this isn’t about the questions themselves, it’s more about remembering that the act of discussing questions is about the journey, not the destination.
Here’s Patrice O’neal asking the great, hypothetical questions:
Here’s a quote I came across from Rachel Naomi Remen
I have begun to wonder if the secret of living well is not in having all the answers but in pursuing unanswerable questions in good company
16. This quote from In Search of Lost Time
I don’t know where to put this one or even what to say about it. It’s just the best quote I’ve ever read, for so many reasons. It’s kind of a serious book, so the quote really catches you off-guard when you’re reading it
Snaps and snails and puppy dog tails, and dirty sluts in plenty, smell sweeter than roses in young men’s noses when the heart is one in twenty
I guess it’s a quote about growing up and growing out of the puppy dog/sluts phase? Anyways, it deserves a place on the list
17. All ‘Shoulds’ Come from Society
Really harping on ‘should’s this year #7 and #10
Shoulds are purely learned behavior from societal programming. Break-free of shoulds. Everytime you encounter a should, go deeper and untangle whatever/whoever tied that should around your neck
18. You don’t have to impress everybody
Even in your wildest dreams, it would be incredible if 1% of the world ever knew who you were. Even if you spend every waking second focusing on being ‘known’, you’ll still fall far short of the 1% awareness threshold. So, don’t bother, live to impress yourself and a close circle. I read Kevin Kelley recently and he said:
Cultive 12 people who love you, they’re worth more than 12 million people who follow you
19. Beware of Justing
From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows:
justing n. the habit of telling yourself that just one tweak could solve all of your problems — if only you had the right haircut, if only you found the right group of friends, if only you made a little more money, if only he noticed you, if only she loved you back, if only you could find the time, if only you were confident — which leaves you feeling perpetually on the cusp of a better life, hanging around the top of the slide waiting for one little push.
Your life is a collection of ALL your bits and pieces you’ve picked up along the way. And your future will be made of a million little pieces that accumulate to form a life. There’s no one thing that you will ‘set you for life’. And that’s great because how boring would that be if it actually happened?
20. Ask which level of support someone needs
This lesson has been a long time coming, but I finally got it right this year. When a friend wants to tell their story about that bad thing that happened and that they’re struggling with, it’s great to ask which level of support they are seeking
- just listen, pure listen, just receive the words, no response necessary
- listen and empathize, awww you poor thing, I’m sorry that happened
- listen, empathize, and help solve it, let’s explore solutions
My entire life, I skipped right to #3
21. A Great Explanation of Why to Never Try Heroin
And it’s applicable to every other type of compulsive behavior, another feather in the cap for ‘Everything in Moderation’
Life is all about novelty. It’s the novelty of our experiences that make life worth living. You’ll remember your whole life who your first crush was, how exciting it was to drive a car the first time, or getting drunk, or getting lucky with that beautiful girl. But the novelty of any experience will wear out after it’s been repeated too much. I wish driving my car each day to work could be as exciting as the first time I got behind the wheel, but it’s not. The toys from when I was a kid can’t keep my attention any more. The songs I have on my iPod have played themselves too many times. But, and listen, because this is important, there are other songs out there I can load on my iPod; ones I haven’t heard before. There’s a girl at a house party that can tell you a joke you’ve never heard before, and make you feel something different. You can get her number and take her to a movie the two of you have never seen and you’ll enjoy it a lot. You can get drunk off alcohol you’ve never tried before, take her back to your place, and the both of you can try things on one another that haven’t been tried before. And you’ll have a great story to tell all your friends the next day. Heroin will be the greatest thing you’ll ever experience. That’s a striking blow to novelty. Like that old toy in the corner, getting laid doesn’t get your attention any more. Who gives a fuck what band is popular this week? They’re all the same. So are all those god damn movies they show at the theater. What’s the point? And that beautiful girl? Forget the shallow 2-dimensional bitch. There’s nothing in it for you. But there’s a lot in it in shooting up H. Man that feels great doesn’t it? But those come downs sure suck don’t they? As your tolerance for H goes up, your tolerance for loneliness goes down. But self-esteem is negligible, isn’t it mother fucker? You’re fucked. Sorry to say it. I’m merely using this comment and exploiting your story to tell other people what’s worth living for. Will you be able to get off H? Possibly. But will life have any novelty left after you do? I wouldn’t bet on it. You’ve played your own song too many times.
22. Get Better at Realizing You’re in Good Times
It’s so easy to identify bad times, right? Why is it so hard to realize, in real-time, that you are in a GOOD time? Try this: imagine LOSING something that is going RIGHT. How do you feel? Terrible? Then you are in a GOOD time, appreciate that shit
23. Wear Black Underwear
Cognitive Load Theory (CLT) states that human beings possess a limited capacity for working memory and, if presented with information that exceeds this capacity, information overload occurs. When overloaded, the evolutionary protective mechanism is to retreat and avoid the source of the incoming information
Long story short, start your day with a simple decision and wear black underwear. *I’m a partner in Black Underwear (Amazon)
24. Recover the Lost Art of the Short Story
As a birthday gift, one of my friends wrote me a 3-page short story about life and the year ahead. The story had bits and pieces that were super personal to me, the type of things that only a close friend could know about, and when you weave those into a narrative, the results are magical. So, this year, you’re all getting short stories for your birthday, no more gifts, sorry :)
25. Be Mindful of the Vibes Around You
I launched an iPhone app called Vibes Map. My goal is to Survey the World’s Vibrations. You walk around with your phone and vote good or bad vibes. The rest of the world can view your vibes and adjust their path accordingly.
26. Focus on Cultivating Great Inputs
This comes from the famous music historian Ted Gioia:
In life, you won’t be judged on your inputs, you will be judged by your output. But your output is certainly a product of your inputs, so focus on them! What books are you reading, what music are you listening to, who’s style do you appreciate, which experts are you listening to?
A few of my favorite inputs:
Conversations with Tyler — my favorite podcast
Raptitude — very thoughtful author, helping you get better at being human
Seth Godin — constantly generous, constantly encouraging you to think bigger
Ted Gioia — new music, and new ways to think about music
27. Put on a Good Show
We largely ‘exist’ through the interpretation of others. This one is a little sollipsistic. What am I trying to say?
Everyone is their own ‘main character’ and you are a ‘guest’ in their play that makes brief appearances.
All the world’s indeed a stage
And we are merely players
Performers and portrayers
Each another’s audience
Outside the gilded cage
So, if you accept that, then put on a good show that will keep people coming back for more!
28. Math to Realize How Special Every Interaction Is
There are almost 8 billion people on this Earth. If someone goes out of their way to even ASK for your name, that’s INCREDIBLY special! If someone remembers your name, they are among the top .0001% of people who will ever care about you on this earth.
If someone wishes you happy birthday, they are in the top 0.00000125% of humans who care about you…Honor that!!
29. Great Question from The ONE Thing
What’s the ONE THING you can do this week (day/month or year) such that by doing it, everything else would be easier or unnecessary?
Built into this question is the unnecesary part. We fall into the trap of thinking everything that can be done, should be done. It’s not true, most stuff doesn’t even need to be done at all!
*Bonus appearance of ‘should’*
30. Use a Flip Phone
I can’t believe it took until #30 for me to remember what a life-changing experience this is.
I switched to a flip phone several months ago. I lost the habit while traveling abroad (because maps and whatsapp) and now I’m back on it.
I still keep an iPhone mini nearby so I can access Uber, Google Maps, sometimes Venmo, but no communication is sent and received from that phone, I don’t even know the number.
My creativity and productivity are up 300% since this became my main walking around phone. When someone texts me, I call them right away, if they don’t pickup, then I don’t text them back. Most interactions can wait until later. Smart phones interrupt us way too much. Take your brain back people!
31. Your Choices MATTER
There will always be more to do than you can every actually get done. Every minute you waste on your phone MATTERS. Every pushup you do MATTERS. Everything you do matters because everything you choose TO DO, is also you choosing to NOT DO 1 billion other possible things with that unit of time.
Checkout the etymology of deciding:
stem of decidere “to decide, determine,” literally “to cut off,”
So, fully realize that everytime you DO something, you’re more NOT DOING other things. Your choices matter, they ARE your life, it’s a choose your own adventure game
32. Do 100 Push-ups Everyday
We get fit, we donate money, it’s a win-win
33. To be different, you have to be different
MAYBE, if you want to accomplish something EXTRAORDINARY, you have to have the courage to make different choices than everyone around you. Probably, you have to make consistently BETTER choices than everyone around you.
34. Think like a Chef, not a Cook
A chef excels at:
- creating recipes
- designing menus
- experimenting with new flavor combinations
A cook excels at:
- following directions
- sticking to the script
- consistency and stability
35. Get CLEAR
Yo airports are getting crazier and crazier. CLEAR allows you to skip major lines at major airports. I’ve saved at least 10 hours while getting to my gate this year, those are CRUCIAL hours. Some of those jumps literally saved me from missing my flight. They’re opening up at stadiums too. This is a cheat code
36. Promote and Stand Proud Behind Your Creations
This entire interview was fire, but this part specifically because I do see a lot of people put work into something and then just throw it out on social media and hope that it goes viral. Artists, don’t forget, HOW you promote your art says just as much about your creativity than the art itself.
THE MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE
37. Question to Ask Yourself Often
What else could go right? and here’s a subtle tip on the emphasis…
When something goes wrong, ask yourself; what else could go RIGHT?
When something goes RIGHT, ask yourself; what ELSE could go right?
— — — — — — — — — — — —
I wish you peace, joy, blessings, adventure, and love. See you next year!
I’m always at Me@CoryStout.com and pull-up on the Venice beach house and catch a sunset with me!
