35 Lessons from 35 Years of Being Cory Stout
- Take really deep breaths as often as you can remember
- Breathing mindfully is the number one habit of life. It’s almost impossible to understate the impact and importance of taking time to breathe. It’s the surest way to stillness, it’s the on-ramp to mindfulness, it improves your posture, it keeps you alive…do I need to keep going?
2. Stretch when you wake up
Like a cat, arch your back, curl into a ball, really over-do it, like be OBNOXIOUS about stretching in bed. **BONUS POINTS for combining Lessons 1 and 2**
3. Don’t Worry About Things Out of Your Control
You cannot control what happens in your life (would you even want to?) BUT you CAN control your RESPONSE. This is the most powerful lesson on this list.
This advice is absolutely essential and embodies the central theories of Stoicism, Buddhism (The Art of Power), and whatever philosophy Viktor Frankel was espousing in Man’s Search for Meaning.
4. Cultivate Freedom in Your Life
I’m not talking about theoretical freedom (free will/determinism). I can only speak about practical freedom. I define that as the ability to freely choose from a set of options without constraint. The simple path is to maximize your options and minimize your constraints. (There are some conflicts worth noting here, time decay for example)
Maximize Options
Insist on a location-independent form of work
Wait until at least 30 to get married
Minimize Constraints
Wait until at least 30 to get married
Rent (or travel full-time) until at least 30
-The Final Word on Freedom (https://youtu.be/xdfeXqHFmPI). “The Fortress of Fucking Solitude”
5. Finance
Invest in VTSAX and Forget About It (referenced beautifully in a parody of the above video https://youtu.be/eikbQPldhPY)
-Unless you’re a wall street stock broker (even if you are) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAQA_29Htts&t=0m34s) you cannot beat the market, you cannot time the market. Set your account to auto-invest.
Pro-tip: give your password to someone you trust, let them change the password, and leave it the F alone.
6. When Someone Tells you About Someone Who Died, Ask Their Name, and Say it Aloud
It is said that every person dies 3 deaths.
When your body ceases to function
When your body is consigned to the grave
That moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time
Saying their name is like saving their life one more time. And I think it’s incredibly comforting to the people still alive.
7. Life is 15% Better When you Wear a Captain’s Hat
Let something in your appearance be remarkable. It gives people an invitation to spark up a conversation. Any goofy hat, costume, or ‘pop’ piece will do.
The embodiment of a character is also very liberating. Ask Frank Ocean (formerly Chris Breaux) and he credits the changing of his name to his artistic expansion. Think about Deadmau5 wearing a mask, it allows him to assume a different persona than the one that he was born into.
8. Develop the Ability to be Comfortable By Yourself Doing Nothing
Watch the video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HbYScltf1c&t=0m55s
Louis CK is right, cell phones are robbing us of the ability to just sit quietly and be a human. We are so conditioned to reach for our phones during ANY period of downtime. An elevator ride lasts 20 seconds, yet as soon as people board an elevator they their phones out of their pocket like a modern tech cowboy.
9. Do 100 Push-ups Everyday
It’s like paying rent for the miracle of being alive and conscious another day.
Shoutout Pushup-crew! John, Corey, Justus and Ryan. We have a WhatsApp group where we send a time-lapse video of us doing 100 pushups, DAILY. If we miss a day, we have to contribute $100 to the group. If you want to join the group, email me (cory@woodies.com)
10. Don’t Be a Joiner
I’ve found it useful to avoid joining groups, clubs, organizations. In theory, these things would help people advance in a common interest through organization. In reality, these groups tend to only accomplish creating Us vs. Them mentality, which leads to tribalism. I’ve developed the ability to identify groupthink and run away as fast as I can. I certainly try to embody the values of something I’m interested in, but I don’t want a membership card. I practice stoic philosophy, but please don’t call me a Stoic. I practice minimalism, but please don’t call me a minimalist.
From the immortal Mitch Hedberg, “I like boats, but I hope I’m never referred to as a ‘boating enthusiast’, I hope they just call me ‘a guy who likes to boat”
11. READ BOOKS
A nice mix of actionable self-development, fiction, biographies, sci-fi, and philosophy
My list of ESSENTIAL books:
The Art of Living by Epictetus
The Art of Power by Thich Naht Hahn
The 4 Hour Workweek
Who Moved My Cheese
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective TEENS
12. Write Morning Pages
This one came from Aygemang, my bromigo, and The Artists Way
The idea is to use each morning (before your mind has downloaded the days responsibilities) and write stream-of-consciousness style. It’s difficult to do, especially with pen and paper. I rely on tech to help me stay accountable. The tool is called The Most Dangerous Writing App. Set it for 10 minutes, once you begin writing, you cannot stop. If you pause, the borders of the screen turn red and begin to ‘eat’ your entire page. If you pause long enough, the app will delete everything you’ve written and there’s no way to retrieve it. It combines the joy of writing with the danger of running from a bear. After 10 minutes, you have a few paragraphs of whatever was on the top of your mind. Copy this and paste it into a Google Doc. After 2 years, I have over 150 pages of writing. DON’T go back and read this, the quality will be terrible. BUT it’s fun to hit ctrl+F to see how many times you mentioned a certain location, person, or idea.
13. Tell Your Parents You’re Happy with Your Life
I really thought about what would I want if I was a parent, how would I know if I accomplished my ‘mission’ as a parent? I thought if your child wrote you a letter telling you that they’re happy with their life and you did a good job; that would be parenting nirvana. Well, Mom and Dad, I’m very happy with my life, thank you.
14. Develop a Few Thought-Provoking Questions
I’m particularly interested in hypothetical/philosophical/bizarre questions, I’m writing a book, Captain Cory’s Curious Questions, that will hold 300 such questions. They’re incredibly useful to:
-break the ice in a new social setting
-revive dull conversations
-flirt
-learn more about yourself
-question preconceived ideas
A couple examples:
In the movie of your life, do you feel more like the actor, the writer, or the executive producer?
Do you ever wish that after you died, you got to see your total stats page? Like in a video game? Which one of your personal stats would you want to know the most?
Would you rather have one amazing love for 50 years? Or 5 amazing loves for 10 years each? (be careful if you ask this questions around couples)
Is love more like learning the piano or winning the lottery?
If you want to be notified when the book comes out, signup here
15. Travel Tips:
Pack Light (There’s an inverse relationship between the amount you pack and how much you enjoy the trip. -Tim Ferriss)
Use elastic loop balls to connect things
Use FourSquare to find the best food, fast
16. This too shall pass
Concept of Impermanence
Big Gulps Huh? Welp See ya later!
A lot of suffering can be attributed to your mind convincing you that this current state of being will last forever. It’s a lie! Things always change
17. Big List of DON’T
Don’t Book Return Flights
(The Power of Optionality)
Don’t Eat Airplane Food
Don’t Book an Airbnb with less than 5 reviews
Don’t Listen to Music on Your Phone Speaker (buy a micro bose)
Don’t Watch/Read the News
Don’t Date Girls with Cracked Phone Screens
18. Vary Your Experiences, Resist Unproductive Routine
Memory experiments The more detailed the memory, the longer the moment seems to last. “This explains why we think that time speeds up when we grow older,” Eagleman said – why childhood summers seem to go on forever, while old age slips by while we’re dozing. The more familiar the world becomes, the less information your brain writes down, and the more quickly time seems to pass.
19. Measure Your Life
WaitbutWhy graph
20. Reserve the Right to Change Your Mind
21. Try to Hold as Many True Beliefs as Possible, Try to Dispel as Many False Beliefs as Possible
22. Shantaram woman quote
Dad says live life 2x2
23. Tech Stack
Install the app once a week, upload everything, delete app again within 24 hours
VirtualPostMail
Google Photos
TODY
24. Start Today
Take a simple idea and take it seriously.” —Charlie Munger __Doing a few sets of pushups each day is a simple idea. Saving at least 10% of your income is a simple idea. Sending Thank You notes is a simple idea. …but most people don’t take simple ideas seriously. It’s hard to argue with when you put it that way. Just one commitment to a simple idea really could put your life on a beeline towards exceptional health, wealth, or any other attainable state of affairs – only depending on how seriously you take that commitment. The results are created by the action – the pushups, the weekly thank you note ritual – but the simplicity of the proposition is what makes it so powerful. You pay a well-defined price (in pushups, dollars, thank you notes) and a life-changing reward is almost guaranteed.
25. Drive a Funky Classic Car
26. Hug People
-it’s sanitary
-it’s warm
-it’s welcoming
-
27. Focus More on BEING, Less on HAVING
28. Eat Mushrooms
Step 1. Read Michael Pollan’s How to Change Your Mind
Step 2. Pick a 2-day Period and Block it Out
Step 3. Find an Airbnb (Tip 24) and Reserve a Place that is a. secure b. has a view c. has interesting things inside it (insert tile house)
Step 4. Wear Your Most Comfortable clothing
Step 5. Cue up your favorite music, videos, speeches,
Step 6. Have a blank canvas and plenty of acrylic ready
Step 7. Eat Enough, A Few Hours Before Sunset, Drink Plenty of Water
*Bonus Points if Your Try 27 & 28 together
Do this AT MOST every 4 months
29. Listen to Khruangbin
Their music is modern and nostalgic all at the same time. It’s perfect background music, pool music, and their videos are really creative films set to music.
30. Collaborative Paint to Commemorate Your Parties
It’s a simple idea and it’s so much fun. Buy a large canvas, 36x24 inches is fine. Buy a cheap set of acrylic paint, 20 brushes, a drop-cloth, and a pallette. I like to start with a curved red line across the canvas just to give people a starting point. Then step back and watch people fill it up with creativity. There’s something magical about a painting that has the hands of several people.
31. How to Explore New Places
Wake Up Early
Experiencing a city before it wakes up gives you a special perspective
Find the Highest Point
This gives you a birds eye map so you have a sense of direction when you walk through the grid
Pick a 3-mile straight line and walk through the city. 3 miles is about an hour of straight walking. You’ll see parts of the city that weren’t meant for tourists (the best parts really)
32. Phrases to Avoid
-Buy you a cup of coffee and let me pick your brain (my brain is worth more than coffee)
-Let’s collaborate (with no specifics)
-I would, but I don’t have time (you have time, you just don’t want to make it a PRIORITY)
-Maybe (maybe means no 95% of the time)
-Iron out the details (you’re not paying attention)
33. Get Control of Your Inbox
Email is an inevitable part of modern life. A big factor in getting control of your life is getting control of your inbox. I subscribe (or unsubscribe my way to…) Inbox Zero.
Delete Gmail from your phone
Pick a starting time each day to batch your emails
Go through your new emails
if it takes less than 2 minutes to handle it, handle it, then archive
if it takes longer than to minutes to handle it, move it to a to-do list
if it’s not relevant, unsubscribe, report spam, and block senders RUTHLESSLY
Go until you reach Inbox Zero
34. Live Like a Diabetic
LevelsHealth changed my life. I discovered this company thanks to the NatEliason newsletter (highly recommended). They sent me a Continuous Glucose Monitor. I stuck it in my arm and monitored by blood-sugar for a month. The challenge was so special because I was in a group AND we had incentives. Everyday I kept my blood-sugar below 120 for the entire day, I received $30. This isn’t a life-changing sum of money BUT it changed the price of every dessert I considered eating. Do I want a cookie for $2.50? Maybe… Do I want a cookie for $32.50. No way.
I completed 24 out of 30 days successfully, and I noticed marked improvements in my energy level, body fat, quality of sleep, lack of gunky feeling in my guts, mental clarity, and just general satisfaction knowing that my food was fueling me instead of poisoning my pancreas.
This was even more powerful because I got to walk a month in the shoes of my oldest nephew Max Messner. He has improved so many aspects of his life since learning about his Type 1 diabetes. He trains hard, he eats right, he’s mindful of his body and his health. I think it’s incredibly useful to live like you have diabetes. It will lead to a better life.
35. Write an Account of Your Life Story
Thoreau said, “I require of every writer, a simple and sincere account of his own life”
I’m working on that, here
bonus: Life Hacks that I’m TRYING to add
write birthday notes on a typewriter and send to friends
